Black Fridays - Lifesaving!!

I don't know a lot about lifesaving...

 

But if anyone is going to bring this guy back to life, my money is on the girl on the right...

 

and then...

 

 

Black Fridays - Wales

One night at the Bar

 

I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar. Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?"

 

One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!"

 

So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland ?"

 

And that's the last thing I remember.

 

and then...

Black Fridays - Picture of You

I FOUND AN OLD PICTURE OF YOU WITH YOUR VERY FIRST BABYSITTER...

 

The psychiatrist tells me this is probably where your problems all started.

 

 

and then...

 

 

Black Fridays - Lil Johnny

Teacher asks the kids in class: 

"What  do you want to be when you grow up?"

Lil' Johnny: 

"I Wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day."

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.

"And you, Tanya?"

"I wanna be Lil' Johnny's bitch?"

 

and then...

 

Black Friday - Reading

Lets test the way you think:

 

 

 

thepenisinhermouth

 

 

 

did you read 'the pen is in her mouth'?

 

nah, me neither!

 

and then...

Black Fridays - 50

I just turned 50 and after exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'

He asked, 'Do you use tobacco or drink ?

'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?

'I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'

'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'

'No, I don't,' I said.

He asked, 'Do you gamble, ride motorcycles, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'

'No,' I said.

He looked at me and said,... 'Then, why do you even give a shit?

 

and then...

Black Fridays - An Elephant Question

 

and then...

Black Fridays - WARNING

 

 

hahaha... happy Friday and enjoy the weekend fellas! 

 

and then...

Black Fridays - Chinese and Jews

The Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his  co-pilot is Chinese.                                                                  
It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.                                                         
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters,                                                        
'I don't like Chinese..'                                                              
'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, 'why not?'                                      
'You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that's why!'                                        
'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese.'                                                                             
'Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese....doesn't matter, you're all alike!'                  
There's a few minutes of silence. 'I no rike Jews!' the co-pilot suddenly announces. 'Oh yeah, why not?' asks the captain.                                                 
'Jews sink Titanic!' says the co-pilot.                                               
'What? You're insane! Jews didn't sink the Titanic!' exclaims the captain, 'It was an iceberg!'                                                                             
Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg ... no mattah...all the same

 

 

and then...

Black Fridays - 30 Years of Marriage!

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked
her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while, then said,
"You're an alphabet wife ..... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks ... "What in the world does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous,
and Hot".

She smiled happily and said ...
"Oh, that's so lovely, but what about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his right eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving the eyesight!

 

and then...